Why is it so-called “home improvement” projects always on look like little dances through the tulips. So easy. So uncomplicated. Swing your right foot this way, raise your arm, adjust your hips, smile and then spin. Weeeeee! Somewhere along the line (right about when you start) the dance turns into a little dragon that curses, spits and laughs at you. “Easy?” it barks. “It’ll take 15 years to finish, three times the money you expected and I’ll make you bend every nail and flatten your thumb with a hammer.” Home improvement. Try home deprovement. I distinctly remember my wife asking how long I thought it would take to get the baby’s room — a converted guest room — done. “Ahh, no time at all,” I said. “It’ll be easy. Couple of weekends. A jiff. Little of this, little of that, spin around and it’s done. You’ll see.” The dragon in the bushes laughed. I hate that dragon! Six months later and I’m only now adding the finishing touches. Which isn’t to say I’m done. It’s what you might call a soft opening. It’s done enough to allow people to see it, but by no means can we signal a grand opening. Please little girl, don’t come too early. I was so sure it would all be over in a matter of weeks, mainly because while I have accomplished numerous major construction projects at home, that is balanced with the fact that I am a complete imbecile with no grasp of … Continue reading Baby’s coming! Now Finish the Room … Fast!